It's Complicated

The following contains spoilers for the movie Wild Robot.

How are you?

Really?

I think we both understand that the results of Tuesday, regardless of how you voted, will change our world. How much, I’m not sure. We’ve never been here before. This is not 2016. Things are different now.

I’ve been listening to and watching events through the lens of NPR and Threads. I listen to my family, friends, and friends of my family. Everyone shared a different opinion about the results, even before the election. One thing that alarms me is the idea that if you are a Christian, your vote would and should go to Trump. Allegiance to what he stands for, in their opinion, defines who a Christian is.

Funny. In John 10, Jesus declares himself as the true Shepherd, bringing together other flocks, and warns that hired hands won’t take care of the sheep as they need. This is important to keep in mind. Be careful who you give your loyalty to.

The other alarming thing I’m watching is all the “unfollowing” happening. The echo chambers are growing. People struggle to talk to each other. Others are removing themselves from relationships entirely. Their cries are valid. And, I’m concerned that these actions won’t create the results intended.

I’m writing because I want to offer you something a little different.

Some of you are hurt by the results. Or, your vote went exactly in the direction you wanted it to go. There is one thing we need to understand:

We are going to inherit a new world. America voted. America will get what it wants. And, now we find out if that’s what America wanted in the first place.

Last night, I went to see Wild Robot in the theatre. Roz, a shipwrecked robot, finds herself on an island without human inhabitants. She was programmed to complete tasks. In her search to find someone who has a task for her to complete, she must first learn the language. She discovers that all the animals on the island have made up their mind about her. She is a “monster” and spends most of her time throughout the movie with that label.

The first scene I fell in love with is when she withdraws for a little while to build her understanding of her surroundings. I swear, this is exactly what I’m doing on my Mom’s Morning Out. I shut down. I listen. I process. Afterward, I’m able to understand things a little more.

Which brings me to my first point:

We have got to get quiet.

So much has happened in this first week. In my opinion, this is not the time to make decisions. This is the time to understand what happened. Do the research. Listen. Absorb. Get quiet. Your body needs to understand Tuesday’s results just as much as your mind does. Honor both and give them what they need. Honor the quiet that the people around you need. If they choose to talk, listen to their fears, their hurts, their cries.

A check in: What is your goal when listening? Are you listening to understand? Or are you listening in order to “educate” that person on what the future will be? Maybe, let’s all assume that none of us knows the future and to think we are God enough to know what someone’s experience will be as we enter the next four years.

I confess. When I see people willing to cut off others because of how they voted, I wonder if this too, comes from a place of privilege. My family is small. My community is small. I have friends, yes. But, cutting others off because of how they voted would make my world far smaller.

And, I love my people. I’m struggling to find the words here. To cut someone off because of how they voted reduces them into something non-human. My people are more complex than that. We’ve shared experiences, pain, joys, sorrows, struggles, victories. Their voting choice is one part of that experience. For me personally, I cannot trade one for the other.

I do wonder if perhaps, someone’s vote was merely the last straw for you. Maybe, in general, they are not someone who you can be safe with, at any point! And, their voting choice gives you the permission to let them go.

Which, if that’s the case, do what you need to do.

Be honest with yourself

I recommend, before you cut off any relationship, to read “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie. There is a lot that you can’t control and there is a lot that you can. The ultimate importance is that you figure out what health and thriving looks like for you. You cannot change the people around you, their thinking or their ways of living. And, you can take care of yourself, whatever that looks like.

We have no idea what’s going to happen

Right now, someone I love is living with cancer. I’m traveling back and forth between their home and my own to make sure they have what they need. I love this person. And, I’ve prayed to be able to give them this gift of support.

And, politically, we differ greatly.

I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world.

Yes, things are complicated. Feelings are complicated. Because I lost one key relationship years ago, I understand the privilege of being able to support this person.

Here’s the thing.

Let’s say everything goes right in the next four years. Our bank accounts fill up, everyone has a job, and finds purpose and meaning and whatever else they were hoping to find when they cast their vote.

We still live in a broken world. There will be car crashes, cancer, miscommunication, misunderstandings, frustrations, disappointments, and hopes dashed. Not to mention the systems and organizations messing with our human experience. No one in an oval office can save us from living in an incomplete world. This world is too messy and we are a broken people. The people around us are far more important.

Roz demonstrates this when a snow storm comes to the island. Despite being hated by nearly everyone, she chooses to spend her time gathering everyone together, ensuring that they are warm and safe.

We’re gonna need each other. Badly.

All of us, at one point, will need, as @timpoandante outlines, an “off ramp”. Our ideas, understanding of the world, and circumstances will continue to change. If we don’t create safe spaces to process these and continue to filter ourselves out early, we will miss out on the gift of helping someone when the lightbulb blinks on and they need to make a different decision.

So, what do you need to do in the next few months? Years? I can’t answer that for you. My only hope is that we find each other in front of the same fire, warming our hands. Winter is coming. Be willing to seek each other out.

The hired hands don’t stick around.

Written with H O L L O W - Hauntingly Beautiful Ambient Music - Deep Ethereal Soundscape playing in the background