Life continues to shift. Jeez, it seems like the ground itself is moving under my feet. Sometimes, I can take the rumblings, and others, well, let’s say it’s good that coffee exists to get me through the day.

One thing I’m learning is that I can’t ignore the rumblings. The seismic shifts are happening for a reason, and if I keep trying to build a world on top of the changing landscape and expect everything to be okay, I’m walking around with blind hope, with no understanding or foresight on if that’s true.

By chance, or perhaps the spirit itself, I stumbled on The Joy Diet by Martha Beck, a book I’d read before but never put in practice. I have a terrible habit of reading helpful books and only trying a few of the things suggested. This time, I decided to slow down and make it worthwhile. I read a chapter a week, spending the time actually doing the things she suggests. Here’s the process so far…

(Note: The info below is a snapshot of my current daily practices. The guidance comes from Martha. I don’t have the book with me at the moment, so the actual content of the book and my writing will be different. The spirit is the same. It’s a good book.)

I take 15-20 minutes each morning to sit in silence. Her suggested form of meditation is observing your thoughts and giving them a label. You don’t have to work to get rid of them, just notice and stick them in a category. Labels like: worry, processing, happiness, brooding, projection. These are my labels at least. Yours may be different. Notice them, label them, but don’t get pulled along with them as they flow through.

I have a journal for this. I walk through the suggested questions she offers, and after identifying something I’m struggling with, I give myself the permission to be honest about it, then question if what I’m thinking is 100% true. I’m so surprised by how quickly I hang on to ideas wihtout questioning their validity.

For example:

Question: What hurts?

Nothing I ever do is good enough. (the thing I’m currently thinking)

Question: Can you be sure that’s 100% true?

Answer: No, it’s not 100% true. There are lots of things that are good enough (list them if necessary)

Question: Is there a different story you can tell yourself that works better?

Answer: I’m not sure about the direction I’m going in life, and I want to take the time to figure that out.

(Way more helpful way to frame things than “Nothing I ever do is good enough.)

Take a few minutes to feel around for what I would like to do. Things are looking murky. What would I like to do instead? I take the time to feel around for what I want to do, no matter how cheesy, silly, ridiculous, or unnecessary it seems.

This task, I feel like, has been the most fun and provided the most guidance. Once I identify something I want, taking one action that brings me an inch closer to it seems to provide a thread of transformations. Not huge ones. I haven’t built a multi-million dollar company overnight (and I don’t need that stress right now), but here’s what it looked like this week…

On Monday, I wanted to learn how to dance. I looked up some YouTube videos I’d previously saved. Those didn’t work out for me, so I looked up an older video on YouTube that I really enjoy. I couldn’t find that video, so I decided to order the physical copies 🧵

The copies arrived in the mail later in the week. I broke one open and did a session, quickly realizing that the furniture arrangement in the living room was not conducive to shimmying forward and back. I spent the rest of my lunch rearranging the furniture 🧵

The living room now has more light, space, and the couch doesn’t directly face the TV. That means sitting in the living room feels overall more enjoyable and relaxing. Where that thread takes me, I have no idea. 🧵

And, here’s the thing. These little moments of transformation and revelations don’t happen overnight. They start by taking little steps, one step at a time. This past week, sitting in the sunshine with Princess, I thought about how it could take a billion moments of sitting in silence to get where I want to be. There is no shortcut. But the thread exists. If you remember, I’m not a fan of caves. Thinking about threads this week, I looked up the name of the threads tied in caves that help guide people in and out. They’re called Distance lines, and more than ever, I think that’s what we need. There are a thousand things aching to distract us. Our phones, social media, cultural expectations, and past beliefs can lead us in the wrong direction. More than ever, I think the thread we need to follow is what Martha is providing: a distance line that provides the time to sit, think, be honest with ourselves, give ourselves permission to want what we want, and take the actions to get there. I’m not sure where this distance line will lead, but it’s giving me enough that I’m happy to find out.

I haven’t finished the book. There are still a few more chapters left. I’ll let you know how it goes. Better to build our world based on truth, instead of what we refuse to face.

Here’s to world-building. ☕

Written with this dark fantasy playlist feels like peace. playing in the background